“With every adoption and every union, there is also loss, a biological parent being separated from their child,” explains Felicia Curcuru, Huffington Post. Coping with life after adoption can be difficult for many birth mothers. “It still isn’t easy for… Read More
I am Dean Kirschner. Why "Libby's Corner?" This blog, actually, all of Adoption Makes Family, is a tribute to my mother who brought adoption to our family in 1956 when my older sister was adopted.
When my mother died in 1967, she left a legacy of love for children that transcended any biological connection. Having been only 8 years old at the time of her death, I do not recall hearing specific words about adoption from my mother. However, through the years, having many conversations with her friends and our family, I have learned so much about my mother's feelings toward children, toward adoption.
Personally, the experience of adoption has been in my life since my own birth. I'm the little brother of an older sister who was adopted at birth. Adoption was never a big deal in our family. We were all treated the same. Biologically conceived by our parents or adopted, there was never a sense for me that we were loved any differently.
I remember at my first home study meeting in preparation to adopt my first son. The social worker asked if I had any personal experience with adoption. My first reaction was a sense of connection. I lived with adoption all my life. I embrace adoption. Now, I am the father of two boys, both adopted.
Every day I realize how much I love my sons. I laugh with my sons. I play with my sons. I parent my sons. Some days there are frustrations. More days, there are fun and joyful times with my sons. Some days, I have had to be a disciplinarian. More days, I am the supporter, the advocate, the fixer, the helper, the confidant, the teacher, the guide, the safety net, the protector. To sum it up, I'm Dad.
My sons are adopted, yet we don't hold that term as a distinction of difference. We celebrate adoption as a means by which I became Dad and they became my children. When I introduce my sons, I introduce them as my sons. Introduce my sister as my sister. The stories of how we became a family are amazingly wonderful. We share our adoption stories proudly. The adoption stories speak to the excitement of becoming a sister, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a nephew.
I have spoken with my sister and my sons about their feelings about their birth parents and the adoption. No one has forgotten that they were adopted, because adoption is an open conversation in our family. However, there is no angst about adoption. We answer questions honestly and allow complete and open discussions about birth parents and their adoption story. There are no mysteries or secrets. There are stories of love, excitement and family.
As for how we get along as siblings, my sister and I have our disagreements. More often, we have our agreements. We have fought, loved, laughed, played. We are just normal siblings. I don't feel adoption plays into our relationship. We have had wonderful discussions about adoption and birth parents. However, when it comes down to just being brother and sister, we are just that. Brother and sister. My sister has actively reached out and chatted with birth mothers who have created an adoption plan with Adoption Makes Family.
My sons have the same type of relationship. They love like brothers. They fight like brothers. They protect each other and look out for each other. They are not biologically related. They are related through adoption. But, above all, they are brothers.
And so, I turn back to my mother, Libby. I learned from my mother the unconditional love for children. Starting in her own little corner of our family, she shaped me, my sister, my sons and our world. Hopefully, this blog, Libby's Corner, can do the same for you.
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How to Tell Friends and Family about Your Adoption Plan
The decision to create an adoption plan is an incredibly difficult one. Telling your friends and family about your plan can be just as difficult. “Many expectant mothers are afraid of how others will respond to their adoption plan,” says… Read More
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Can I Create An Adoption Plan After Birth?
Creating an adoption plan is a difficult decision for any birth mother, especially one who is struggling to grapple with unplanned pregnancy. So, there are times when birth mothers continue to put the decision off for so long that the… Read More
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Preparing to Be a Grandparent of an Adopted Child
Becoming a grandparent is a truly special experience and one that you have dreamed about for quite some time. But what does it mean to become a grandparent through adoption? What is the adoption process even like? The unknowns can… Read More
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How to Find Adoptive Parents
After making the difficult decision to create an adoption plan, perhaps the biggest question left for most birth mothers is “How do I find adoptive parents?” But not just any adoptive parents – an “adoptive family that best matches the… Read More
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Birth Mothers Dealing With Rude Questions
One of the toughest things for birth mothers to deal with is rude questions, like “How can you give your baby up for adoption?” In reality, birth mothers who choose adoption are not giving up anything. They are, in fact,… Read More
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Now That My Adoption is Complete, I’m Struggling Emotionally
While adoption is a wonderful gift, some birth mothers find themselves struggling emotionally to cope with their decision. “With every adoption and every union, there is also loss, a biological parent being separated from their child,” explains Felicia Curcuru, Huffington… Read More
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Is My Child Struggling with Adoption?
One of the biggest fears of any adoptive parent is that their child will end up struggling with adoption. It’s one of the reasons why so many adoptive parents themselves struggle to bring up the subject. However, adoption isn’t something… Read More
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The Benefits of Working with a Local Adoption Agency in Maryland
When a birth mother chooses to create an adoption plan, the next big decision she will have to make is which adoption agency to work with – and “there are lots of agencies to choose from all over the country,”… Read More
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Considerations When Adopting a Second Child
Adopting a child is a wonderful way to grow your loving family. So, it is not uncommon for a family that has already adopted one child to consider welcoming a second child into their family. Adopting a second child is… Read More