There’s a lot of different language involving all parties in the adoption process. Language surrounding adoption changes depending on your stance on adoption. The two main types of language surrounding adoption are “Positive Adoption Language” and “Honest Adoption Language”. The… Read More
I am Dean Kirschner. Why "Libby's Corner?" This blog, actually, all of Adoption Makes Family, is a tribute to my mother who brought adoption to our family in 1956 when my older sister was adopted.
When my mother died in 1967, she left a legacy of love for children that transcended any biological connection. Having been only 8 years old at the time of her death, I do not recall hearing specific words about adoption from my mother. However, through the years, having many conversations with her friends and our family, I have learned so much about my mother's feelings toward children, toward adoption.
Personally, the experience of adoption has been in my life since my own birth. I'm the little brother of an older sister who was adopted at birth. Adoption was never a big deal in our family. We were all treated the same. Biologically conceived by our parents or adopted, there was never a sense for me that we were loved any differently.
I remember at my first home study meeting in preparation to adopt my first son. The social worker asked if I had any personal experience with adoption. My first reaction was a sense of connection. I lived with adoption all my life. I embrace adoption. Now, I am the father of two boys, both adopted.
Every day I realize how much I love my sons. I laugh with my sons. I play with my sons. I parent my sons. Some days there are frustrations. More days, there are fun and joyful times with my sons. Some days, I have had to be a disciplinarian. More days, I am the supporter, the advocate, the fixer, the helper, the confidant, the teacher, the guide, the safety net, the protector. To sum it up, I'm Dad.
My sons are adopted, yet we don't hold that term as a distinction of difference. We celebrate adoption as a means by which I became Dad and they became my children. When I introduce my sons, I introduce them as my sons. Introduce my sister as my sister. The stories of how we became a family are amazingly wonderful. We share our adoption stories proudly. The adoption stories speak to the excitement of becoming a sister, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a nephew.
I have spoken with my sister and my sons about their feelings about their birth parents and the adoption. No one has forgotten that they were adopted, because adoption is an open conversation in our family. However, there is no angst about adoption. We answer questions honestly and allow complete and open discussions about birth parents and their adoption story. There are no mysteries or secrets. There are stories of love, excitement and family.
As for how we get along as siblings, my sister and I have our disagreements. More often, we have our agreements. We have fought, loved, laughed, played. We are just normal siblings. I don't feel adoption plays into our relationship. We have had wonderful discussions about adoption and birth parents. However, when it comes down to just being brother and sister, we are just that. Brother and sister. My sister has actively reached out and chatted with birth mothers who have created an adoption plan with Adoption Makes Family.
My sons have the same type of relationship. They love like brothers. They fight like brothers. They protect each other and look out for each other. They are not biologically related. They are related through adoption. But, above all, they are brothers.
And so, I turn back to my mother, Libby. I learned from my mother the unconditional love for children. Starting in her own little corner of our family, she shaped me, my sister, my sons and our world. Hopefully, this blog, Libby's Corner, can do the same for you.
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What to Consider When Adopting a Child with a Disability
There are lots of children with disabilities who are in need of loving families. However, before making the huge decision of adopting a child with a disability, it’s important to consider all the factors to make sure you are ready…. Read More
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Children’s Books About Adoption
Books are a wonderful way to engage children in thought and discussion about adoption. It can be difficult sometimes to put our thoughts into words that children will understand. Luckily, children’s books speak the language of children. Through metaphors, creative… Read More
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Reasons to Choose a Local Adoption Agency
Why choose a smaller, local adoption agency when you are creating an adoption plan? A local adoption agency is smaller than a national adoption agency which means more personal attention for you and your baby. Being small and local gives… Read More
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How to Introduce a Transracially Adopted Child to Your Family
Do you already have children and are considering adopting a child from a race that is different from yours? There are many things to be aware of before adopting a child of a different race. It’s important to address your… Read More
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Things to Consider When Adopting from a Different Race
There are many reasons why parents choose to adopt a child from a different race than their own. Some adoption agencies have strict rules surrounding the adoption of Caucasian children that make adopting a Caucasian child more difficult. For example,… Read More
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Subconscious Bias: Understanding Your Truth
If you are considering adopting a child who is from a different race than yours, the very first step is to consider your racial bias. Ask yourself these questions: “Why is it important to me to adopt from a different… Read More
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Helping Your Adopted Child Connect to Their Cultural Heritage, Part 2
Our last blog offered suggestions for raising your adopted child in two cultures: your culture and your child’s culture. This is such a deep and involved process that we extended our blog into two parts. Raising an adopted child from… Read More
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Helping Your Adopted Child Connect to Their Cultural Heritage, Part 1
Adopting transculturally offers the special gift of integrating your child’s birth culture with your own. There’s a lot of learning and excitement involved for you and your adopted child. A transcultural adoption changes the lives of all involved by introducing… Read More
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Understanding the Federal Adoption Tax Credit
If you have considered adoption, you are probably well aware that the process can be rather expensive. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, a U.S. government-funded adoption information service, the average U.S. adoption costs between $8,000 and $40,000. Fortunately,… Read More