If you’re working on your birth parent book, you may be wondering exactly what birth parents are looking for in adoptive families. Most of all, birth parents want the same thing for their baby that all parents do. They want… Read More
I am Dean Kirschner. Why "Libby's Corner?" This blog, actually, all of Adoption Makes Family, is a tribute to my mother who brought adoption to our family in 1956 when my older sister was adopted.
When my mother died in 1967, she left a legacy of love for children that transcended any biological connection. Having been only 8 years old at the time of her death, I do not recall hearing specific words about adoption from my mother. However, through the years, having many conversations with her friends and our family, I have learned so much about my mother's feelings toward children, toward adoption.
Personally, the experience of adoption has been in my life since my own birth. I'm the little brother of an older sister who was adopted at birth. Adoption was never a big deal in our family. We were all treated the same. Biologically conceived by our parents or adopted, there was never a sense for me that we were loved any differently.
I remember at my first home study meeting in preparation to adopt my first son. The social worker asked if I had any personal experience with adoption. My first reaction was a sense of connection. I lived with adoption all my life. I embrace adoption. Now, I am the father of two boys, both adopted.
Every day I realize how much I love my sons. I laugh with my sons. I play with my sons. I parent my sons. Some days there are frustrations. More days, there are fun and joyful times with my sons. Some days, I have had to be a disciplinarian. More days, I am the supporter, the advocate, the fixer, the helper, the confidant, the teacher, the guide, the safety net, the protector. To sum it up, I'm Dad.
My sons are adopted, yet we don't hold that term as a distinction of difference. We celebrate adoption as a means by which I became Dad and they became my children. When I introduce my sons, I introduce them as my sons. Introduce my sister as my sister. The stories of how we became a family are amazingly wonderful. We share our adoption stories proudly. The adoption stories speak to the excitement of becoming a sister, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a nephew.
I have spoken with my sister and my sons about their feelings about their birth parents and the adoption. No one has forgotten that they were adopted, because adoption is an open conversation in our family. However, there is no angst about adoption. We answer questions honestly and allow complete and open discussions about birth parents and their adoption story. There are no mysteries or secrets. There are stories of love, excitement and family.
As for how we get along as siblings, my sister and I have our disagreements. More often, we have our agreements. We have fought, loved, laughed, played. We are just normal siblings. I don't feel adoption plays into our relationship. We have had wonderful discussions about adoption and birth parents. However, when it comes down to just being brother and sister, we are just that. Brother and sister. My sister has actively reached out and chatted with birth mothers who have created an adoption plan with Adoption Makes Family.
My sons have the same type of relationship. They love like brothers. They fight like brothers. They protect each other and look out for each other. They are not biologically related. They are related through adoption. But, above all, they are brothers.
And so, I turn back to my mother, Libby. I learned from my mother the unconditional love for children. Starting in her own little corner of our family, she shaped me, my sister, my sons and our world. Hopefully, this blog, Libby's Corner, can do the same for you.
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How to Include Birth Mothers on Mother’s Day
Birthdays and Mother’s Day are often the two toughest times for a birth mother. However, when their child’s adoptive family shows them appreciation, it eases birth mothers through those tough times. You can choose to honor your child’s birth mother… Read More
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How to Prepare for Your Adopted Baby
Becoming potential adoptive parents can leave you with a lot of questions. When should you prepare the nursery? What do you do if the baby comes early? When should you purchase baby supplies? The answer to these questions varies for… Read More
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What is a Home Study?
After you have completed your adoption application, you will be visited by a social worker for a home study. This is when your social worker will observe your home life to determine your reasons for adopting, your plans for your… Read More
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Encourage a Positive Relationship between Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents
Many birth parents choose to stay in contact with their birth children and adoptive families in what is known as an open adoption. Open adoptions can be very rewarding for everyone involved. The birth parents may have to overcome a… Read More
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Gotcha Day Celebration Ideas!
Many adoptive families celebrate Gotcha Day as the day that their child was adopted and became a part of their family. This is a very special day, and there are lots of fun ways to celebrate it! Here are a… Read More
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What to Include in Your Letter to the Birth Father
Our last blog offered suggestions for how to contact the birth father about your pregnancy and adoption plan. This is often a very challenging and emotional process, and it can be hard to know exactly what to do. For many… Read More
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How to Talk to the Birth Father About Your Adoption Plan
Sometimes, telling the birth father about your adoption plan can be a little intimidating. You may even be unsure of when to tell him or if you should tell him. Below are three ways to gently broach the topic, each… Read More
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How to Talk to Children About Placing a Second Child for Adoption
Are you thinking about placing a second child (or third, fourth, etc.) for adoption? You are not alone. Placing a second child for adoption is a choice that many mothers make. It’s a brave decision that will benefit your unborn… Read More
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Tips for Creating Your Birth Parent Book
A birth parent book serves as an introduction between you and potential birth parents. Your birth parent book provides a snapshot of daily life within your family. This book allows you the opportunity to express your longing for a family… Read More