Every year in the United States, about half of all pregnancies are unplanned. And by age 45, more than half of all American women have experienced an unintended pregnancy. When confronted with an unplanned pregnancy, birth parents are often left… Read More
I am Dean Kirschner. Why "Libby's Corner?" This blog, actually, all of Adoption Makes Family, is a tribute to my mother who brought adoption to our family in 1956 when my older sister was adopted.
When my mother died in 1967, she left a legacy of love for children that transcended any biological connection. Having been only 8 years old at the time of her death, I do not recall hearing specific words about adoption from my mother. However, through the years, having many conversations with her friends and our family, I have learned so much about my mother's feelings toward children, toward adoption.
Personally, the experience of adoption has been in my life since my own birth. I'm the little brother of an older sister who was adopted at birth. Adoption was never a big deal in our family. We were all treated the same. Biologically conceived by our parents or adopted, there was never a sense for me that we were loved any differently.
I remember at my first home study meeting in preparation to adopt my first son. The social worker asked if I had any personal experience with adoption. My first reaction was a sense of connection. I lived with adoption all my life. I embrace adoption. Now, I am the father of two boys, both adopted.
Every day I realize how much I love my sons. I laugh with my sons. I play with my sons. I parent my sons. Some days there are frustrations. More days, there are fun and joyful times with my sons. Some days, I have had to be a disciplinarian. More days, I am the supporter, the advocate, the fixer, the helper, the confidant, the teacher, the guide, the safety net, the protector. To sum it up, I'm Dad.
My sons are adopted, yet we don't hold that term as a distinction of difference. We celebrate adoption as a means by which I became Dad and they became my children. When I introduce my sons, I introduce them as my sons. Introduce my sister as my sister. The stories of how we became a family are amazingly wonderful. We share our adoption stories proudly. The adoption stories speak to the excitement of becoming a sister, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a nephew.
I have spoken with my sister and my sons about their feelings about their birth parents and the adoption. No one has forgotten that they were adopted, because adoption is an open conversation in our family. However, there is no angst about adoption. We answer questions honestly and allow complete and open discussions about birth parents and their adoption story. There are no mysteries or secrets. There are stories of love, excitement and family.
As for how we get along as siblings, my sister and I have our disagreements. More often, we have our agreements. We have fought, loved, laughed, played. We are just normal siblings. I don't feel adoption plays into our relationship. We have had wonderful discussions about adoption and birth parents. However, when it comes down to just being brother and sister, we are just that. Brother and sister. My sister has actively reached out and chatted with birth mothers who have created an adoption plan with Adoption Makes Family.
My sons have the same type of relationship. They love like brothers. They fight like brothers. They protect each other and look out for each other. They are not biologically related. They are related through adoption. But, above all, they are brothers.
And so, I turn back to my mother, Libby. I learned from my mother the unconditional love for children. Starting in her own little corner of our family, she shaped me, my sister, my sons and our world. Hopefully, this blog, Libby's Corner, can do the same for you.
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Birth Parents: Choosing an Adoptive Family through an Online Ad or Facilitator
In today’s technology driven world, we rely on the Internet for much of our daily lives. We communicate at work via email, we connect with our friends and family on social media, we watch our favorite shows using applications such… Read More
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Adopting an Older Child
When considering adoption, there are several avenues to explore. Not only is there public, private, and independent adoption, but also newborn adoption, international adoption, and the adoption of older children out of foster care. The latter takes a special kind… Read More
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Adoptive Families: How Do You Refer to Biological Parents?
“For many adoptive parents, it is easy to talk about their first meeting with their child, the first day they brought her home,” says Nicole M. Callahan, National Council for Adoption. “But the questions that adopted children have do not… Read More
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Adoptive Families: Talking to Your Child about Their Birth Parents
There comes a time in every adopted child’s journey when they start to ask questions about their biological parents. “My children were born to other people,” writes Ann Brenoff, The Huffington Post. “It is natural that they should want to… Read More
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What is a Gotcha Day? Do You Celebrate a Gotcha Day?
Have you ever heard the term “Gotcha Day” and wondered what it means? Or perhaps you currently celebrate a Gotcha Day and are looking for inspiration. Either way, we have you covered. In this article, we explore the wonderful (and… Read More
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Exploring the Current State of the World Of Adoption: What’s Taking So Long?
If you have been waiting and waiting and waiting to adopt, you may be thinking to yourself, “What’s taking so long?” The answer is twofold. How Long Does Adoption Take? The truth is, adopting a child is a lengthy process…. Read More
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Pre- & Post-Placement Adoption Counseling for Birth Mothers
A birth mother’s decision to place her child for adoption is never an easy one. In fact, it is likely the most difficult decision a birth parent will ever have to make. However, “many birth parents are able to reconcile… Read More
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Adoptive Families: How to Speak to Your Child about Adoption
Some adoptive parents struggle to find the perfect time to talk to their child about adoption. How do you bring the subject up? How do you handle the situation? Most importantly, how do you tell your child they are adopted?… Read More