A lack of financial resources is one of the reasons why some women consider adoption. So, it should come as no surprise that we often here the same question. Can a birth mother receive money for her baby? And the… Read More
I am Dean Kirschner. Why "Libby's Corner?" This blog, actually, all of Adoption Makes Family, is a tribute to my mother who brought adoption to our family in 1956 when my older sister was adopted.
When my mother died in 1967, she left a legacy of love for children that transcended any biological connection. Having been only 8 years old at the time of her death, I do not recall hearing specific words about adoption from my mother. However, through the years, having many conversations with her friends and our family, I have learned so much about my mother's feelings toward children, toward adoption.
Personally, the experience of adoption has been in my life since my own birth. I'm the little brother of an older sister who was adopted at birth. Adoption was never a big deal in our family. We were all treated the same. Biologically conceived by our parents or adopted, there was never a sense for me that we were loved any differently.
I remember at my first home study meeting in preparation to adopt my first son. The social worker asked if I had any personal experience with adoption. My first reaction was a sense of connection. I lived with adoption all my life. I embrace adoption. Now, I am the father of two boys, both adopted.
Every day I realize how much I love my sons. I laugh with my sons. I play with my sons. I parent my sons. Some days there are frustrations. More days, there are fun and joyful times with my sons. Some days, I have had to be a disciplinarian. More days, I am the supporter, the advocate, the fixer, the helper, the confidant, the teacher, the guide, the safety net, the protector. To sum it up, I'm Dad.
My sons are adopted, yet we don't hold that term as a distinction of difference. We celebrate adoption as a means by which I became Dad and they became my children. When I introduce my sons, I introduce them as my sons. Introduce my sister as my sister. The stories of how we became a family are amazingly wonderful. We share our adoption stories proudly. The adoption stories speak to the excitement of becoming a sister, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a nephew.
I have spoken with my sister and my sons about their feelings about their birth parents and the adoption. No one has forgotten that they were adopted, because adoption is an open conversation in our family. However, there is no angst about adoption. We answer questions honestly and allow complete and open discussions about birth parents and their adoption story. There are no mysteries or secrets. There are stories of love, excitement and family.
As for how we get along as siblings, my sister and I have our disagreements. More often, we have our agreements. We have fought, loved, laughed, played. We are just normal siblings. I don't feel adoption plays into our relationship. We have had wonderful discussions about adoption and birth parents. However, when it comes down to just being brother and sister, we are just that. Brother and sister. My sister has actively reached out and chatted with birth mothers who have created an adoption plan with Adoption Makes Family.
My sons have the same type of relationship. They love like brothers. They fight like brothers. They protect each other and look out for each other. They are not biologically related. They are related through adoption. But, above all, they are brothers.
And so, I turn back to my mother, Libby. I learned from my mother the unconditional love for children. Starting in her own little corner of our family, she shaped me, my sister, my sons and our world. Hopefully, this blog, Libby's Corner, can do the same for you.
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How Can I Tell If My Adopted Child Is Really Having a Problem with Being Adopted?
It is the fear of many adoptive parents that their child will struggle with the concept of adoption. So, the question becomes 1) how can you tell if your child is having an issue with being adopted and 2) what… Read More
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Birth Mother: Preparing for the Anniversary of Your Adoption
The anniversary of an adoption can be a tough time for birth mothers, but it doesn’t have to be. On the anniversary of the adoption, all of those emotions – that feeling of loss – come flooding back all over… Read More
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Creating Your Adoption Plan: Do You Want to Spend Time With the Baby in the Hospital?
Recently, we discussed the importance of communicating your adoption plan to the hospital well in advance. However, before you do that, you should think about what YOU want from this experience. What is YOUR birth plan? While some things are… Read More
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How to Explain to the Hospital That You Are Doing an Adoption
When it comes to creating your adoption plan, there are multiple factors to consider, including your stay at the hospital. And for many birth mothers, this can be the most stressful time of their entire pregnancy. “The delivery and hospital… Read More
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Can I Write a Letter to My Biological Child Once He/She Is Adopted?
Creating an adoption plan is an incredibly difficult decision for any parent. However, some comfort can be taken from the fact that adoption is not the end of your relationship with your child. It is just the next step in… Read More
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I Am Under 18. Do I Need My Parents’ Consent to Create an Adoption Plan?
With 85 percent of all teenage pregnancies unplanned, it is not shocking that we often hear the same question. Do I need my parents’ consent to create an adoption plan if I am under the age of 18? And the… Read More
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Birth Mothers: What Are The Benefits of Using a Local Adoption Agency vs. an Adoption Attorney?
When you’ve made the already difficult decision to create an adoption plan, you will be faced with another difficult choice. Do you choose to work with a local adoption agency or an adoption attorney? What’s the Difference Between a Local… Read More
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What an Open Adoption Looks Like
When creating an adoption plan, a birth mother has to decide where she fits in her child’s life. Will there be continued involvement? What will this look like – regular phone calls, letters, or in-person visits? Is there be any… Read More
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Looking to Adopt? Here’s Our Step-By-Step Guide
“Thinking about adopting a child? There’s a lot to consider,” writes Lisa Fields, WebMD. But don’t worry. That’s why we’re here. The journey to adopt may seem daunting and surreal, but our primary goal is to help you through the… Read More