The new year brings about new possibilities and for many anxiously-awaiting parents a new baby. So, it is important to be as prepared as possible to ensure a smooth transition and positive experience for everyone involved. “Whether it’s joining an… Read More
I am Dean Kirschner. Why "Libby's Corner?" This blog, actually, all of Adoption Makes Family, is a tribute to my mother who brought adoption to our family in 1956 when my older sister was adopted.
When my mother died in 1967, she left a legacy of love for children that transcended any biological connection. Having been only 8 years old at the time of her death, I do not recall hearing specific words about adoption from my mother. However, through the years, having many conversations with her friends and our family, I have learned so much about my mother's feelings toward children, toward adoption.
Personally, the experience of adoption has been in my life since my own birth. I'm the little brother of an older sister who was adopted at birth. Adoption was never a big deal in our family. We were all treated the same. Biologically conceived by our parents or adopted, there was never a sense for me that we were loved any differently.
I remember at my first home study meeting in preparation to adopt my first son. The social worker asked if I had any personal experience with adoption. My first reaction was a sense of connection. I lived with adoption all my life. I embrace adoption. Now, I am the father of two boys, both adopted.
Every day I realize how much I love my sons. I laugh with my sons. I play with my sons. I parent my sons. Some days there are frustrations. More days, there are fun and joyful times with my sons. Some days, I have had to be a disciplinarian. More days, I am the supporter, the advocate, the fixer, the helper, the confidant, the teacher, the guide, the safety net, the protector. To sum it up, I'm Dad.
My sons are adopted, yet we don't hold that term as a distinction of difference. We celebrate adoption as a means by which I became Dad and they became my children. When I introduce my sons, I introduce them as my sons. Introduce my sister as my sister. The stories of how we became a family are amazingly wonderful. We share our adoption stories proudly. The adoption stories speak to the excitement of becoming a sister, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a nephew.
I have spoken with my sister and my sons about their feelings about their birth parents and the adoption. No one has forgotten that they were adopted, because adoption is an open conversation in our family. However, there is no angst about adoption. We answer questions honestly and allow complete and open discussions about birth parents and their adoption story. There are no mysteries or secrets. There are stories of love, excitement and family.
As for how we get along as siblings, my sister and I have our disagreements. More often, we have our agreements. We have fought, loved, laughed, played. We are just normal siblings. I don't feel adoption plays into our relationship. We have had wonderful discussions about adoption and birth parents. However, when it comes down to just being brother and sister, we are just that. Brother and sister. My sister has actively reached out and chatted with birth mothers who have created an adoption plan with Adoption Makes Family.
My sons have the same type of relationship. They love like brothers. They fight like brothers. They protect each other and look out for each other. They are not biologically related. They are related through adoption. But, above all, they are brothers.
And so, I turn back to my mother, Libby. I learned from my mother the unconditional love for children. Starting in her own little corner of our family, she shaped me, my sister, my sons and our world. Hopefully, this blog, Libby's Corner, can do the same for you.
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Adoption Counseling for Adoptive Families
On this blog, we often talk about the importance of adoption counseling for birth mothers, to help them through their adoption journey. However, counseling can also be a very important tool for adoptive parents as they navigate life with their… Read More
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Considering Transracial Adoption? Things to Think About
Welcoming a new child into your home is a wonderfully rewarding experience. Of course, it can also come with its challenges. After all, adjusting to life with an infant is never easy. And adoption can sometimes add additional complexities to… Read More
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Finding Adoptive Parents
After a birth mother chooses to create an adoption plan, the biggest thing on her mind quickly becomes locating the perfect adoptive parents for her child. She’ll ultimately want to find an “adoptive family that best matches the adoption plan”… Read More
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Adoption by the Numbers
In the United States, adoption was officially made a legal process – not just an informal practice – in the 1850s. Today, more than 135,000 children are adopted every year, writes Asher Fogle, Good Housekeeping. Still, this was not always… Read More
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Celebrating National Adoption Awareness Month
Did you know that November is National Adoption Awareness Month? President Gerald R. Ford first created Adoption Week in 1984 as a way to shine a light on this incredibly loving and selfless way to build a family. But a… Read More
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Talking to a Birth Father Who Is Unsure About an Adoption Plan
Navigating an adoption following an unplanned pregnancy can be stressful enough. Add on top of that a birth father who is either uncooperative or unsure about adoption and you have the makings of a truly volatile situation. So, what do… Read More
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Teen Birth Mother Rights
85 percent of all teenage pregnancies are unplanned. This can be a stressful experience. So, it is important that a teen birth mother know her rights. “Being pregnant as a teen is scary and hard,” says Annaleece Merrill, birth mother… Read More
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Why Choose a Local Maryland Adoption Agency
When unexpected pregnancies occur, birth mothers have a million and one things running through their heads. Can I handle this? Do I want to terminate the pregnancy? Is adoption the right choice? What should I do?! If a birth mother… Read More
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Is It Necessary to Go for Prenatal Care If Doing an Adoption Plan?
An unplanned pregnancy can be difficult for a birth mother to handle. Pregnancy is stressful enough when a mother has had time to properly plan ahead. An unexpected pregnancy can turn a mother’s life upside down. So, it is completely… Read More