There are few instances in life quite as scary as realizing you are pregnant when being pregnant is the last thing in the world you want to be. If you are reading this now, you have probably experienced that moment of panic yourself – staring down at the pregnancy test and knowing that your life has now been forever changed.
It’s important for you to know, though, that you do not have to be alone. And that being in this position, no matter how you got here, does not make you a bad person. According to the CDC, nearly 50% of pregnancies every year are unplanned. This is especially true of those under the age of 19, where nearly all pregnancies are unplanned. You certainly are not the first woman to find herself in this situation, and there are options to help you decide what to do next.
If you are feeling scared and unsure, one of the first things to do is to find someone you trust to talk to. Isolating yourself will only make this next stage that much harder. You need support and the advice of someone who cares about you as you move forward. If you don’t feel as though you have anyone in your life who currently matches that description, consider talking to a doctor, counselor, or local church leader. There are plenty of people willing to help you, but you have to first be willing to reach out.
Once you have your support person in line, what are your options?
Abortion
As advocates of adoption, abortion is certainly not our favorite option to promote. But it is an option available to you. Should you feel as though terminating this pregnancy is the best choice for you, visit your doctor or a local clinic for more information and the opportunity for counseling. Know that abortion can have long-lasting psychological effects and is very difficult – and oftentimes impossible – for some women to get over. But there are those who do maintain it was the right choice for them. The important thing is to be honest with yourself here about what you can handle, and whether or not you could have an abortion without regret.
Adoption
For women who cannot imagine having an abortion, but who also can’t fathom raising a child, the option of adoption provides you the opportunity to lovingly select a family for your child who is ready and willing to take on the responsibilities of parenting. In many cases these days, open adoptions also provide you the opportunity to remain in contact with your child, should that be something you want. If not, closed adoptions are also available. As the birth mother, you are able to indicate what type of adoption you want, and to decide on the family that seems best suited to raise your child. While adoption is also a difficult path and requires you to be selfless in your love for your child, it can also be a very beautiful way to form a family – and to give your child a life, even when you don’t feel prepared to raise him or her yourself.
Keeping Your Child
For a lot of women, the fear that overtakes them upon first finding out they are pregnant can cause them to feel as though they couldn’t possibly raise this child. Many have financial concerns or are worried about unstable relationships and educational and career goals that have not yet been reached. For some women, those fears of inadequacy linger and they never feel as though they are fully equipped to raise a child. But for others, the fears begin to fade as their baby grows, and they may begin to wish they could find some way to raise their child themselves. If you are struggling with the desire to raise your child, but you don’t know how to possibly make it work, there are counselors and programs available to help you. It certainly won’t be easy, and it will require work and commitment on your part, but if you want to raise your child yourself, there is almost always a way to make that work.
Adoption Makes Family is here for you to assist you in weighing your options. Unlike some adoption agencies, we want what’s best for you and your child. We will talk with you about all of the options available and back you up on whichever path you take. It’s a difficult time for you; don’t go through it alone!
Whether you have decided on adoption as your choice or are looking for more information on your options before you, please contact us at any time.