When you have decided to choose adoption for your child, you will then have the option between open or closed adoptions. Deciding which is the best option for you and for your child might feel like a difficult decision, especially if you do not know the benefits and drawbacks of each option. Your first step should be to talk to your adoption agency, as they will be able to help you evaluate your situation and your feelings and find the right option for you. Here is some information to help you make that decision:
What is an open adoption?
In an open adoption, both the birth mother and the adoptive parents know each other. They may or may not be in contact, but they have likely met. The birth mother may send pictures and letters to her child and the family, and the family will often send pictures and letters to the birth mother. Sometimes the agency will be the middleman for these communications. Other times the birth mother and adoptive parents will arrange their communications and will determine how much involvement they want to have in each other’s lives all on their own.
There are a few other types of adoption that fall under the general umbrella of an open adoption. If an adoption is only semi-open, the two parties might meet and occasionally be in contact, but often only through the agency. They know who each other are, but they are not involved in each other’s lives.
What is a closed adoption?
A closed adoption, on the other hand, usually means that birth parents and adoptive parents do not meet. They may not know anything about one another. The adoptive parents might not even know the name of the birth parents. They will, in general, not get any identifying information about one another and they will not be in contact in the future. You might occasionally hear a closed adoption be called a confidential adoption, because its main goal is to keep the identities of all parties confidential. If you are interested in a closed adoption, you will need to work with an adoption agency or perhaps with an attorney, who will handle the paperwork, the finding of the adoptive parents, and the placement of the child.
How do I choose?
Which type of adoption you choose will affect both your future and the future of the child. Of course, the adoptive parents may have some preference, which may factor into your decision of whether you prefer a closed or open adoption. One of the benefits of working with an adoption agency like Adoption Makes Family is that we handle both closed and open adoptions, so whatever you choose to do, we are here to help.
You will want to choose the option that makes you feel the most comfortable and provides you and the child with the best possible life. With an open adoption, the child will never have to wonder who their birth parents are and having a relationship with that child is easy. However, if there are disagreements about how much involvement the birth parents should have in the life of that child, it could lead to discord. That said, many adoptive parents like having the birth parents involved in their lives and feel like it gives the child an even wider range of support.
Discuss the options with your adoption agency in order to determine whether a closed or open adoption best fits your particular needs.