Coping with an unplanned pregnancy can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to feel nervous, scared, or even angry. “It’s normal and healthy to allow yourself to feel this,” says clinical psychologist Shoshana Bennett, PhD. “Anger and shock could be something you’re feeling, and that’s perfectly fine to feel that way” as you try to navigate your options. Do you keep the baby? Is adoption the right choice? Or do you terminate the pregnancy? You have options, but often it is difficult to navigate such a difficult subject on your own. But you don’t have to make the decision on your own.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help
“I think one of the biggest reasons people fear unplanned pregnancy is that so often, it is associated with mothers who don’t have a lot of support, whether that be financial or in the form of a supportive partner,” says Chaunie Brusie, RN, BSN. So, it’s important to establish your own support system early. “Unexpected pregnancies are not events that should be dealt with alone,” says Elizabeth Danish, HealthGuidance. “Women should share their thoughts on this experience and surround themselves with a supportive group of people.”
Now, everyone’s support system looks different. The important thing is to surround yourself with positive people who will actively help you throughout your journey – whatever that may look like.
“If you do not have a positive support system, you can see that through an adoption agency worker/counselor,” says Dean Kirschner, Ph.D., LCSW-C. The professionals at Adoption Makes Family are here to listen, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Call Us Now at (410) 683-2100
Adoption Makes Family is a non-profit (501-C3) licensed adoption agency based in Maryland. Our experienced professionals can help and counsel you so that you make the best decisions for your future. We simply want what is best for you and your baby, whatever outcome that may be.
Is Adoption the Right Choice?
“There are countless reasons why a woman would decide to [create an adoption plan], and none of them are easy or obvious,” says Lane Moore, Cosmopolitan. So, it’s important to examine your current situation, as well as your future goals. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What makes the most sense for me both now and in the future?
- Does a child fit into my plans?
- How do I feel about someone else raising my child?
- Can the adoptive parents provide better care?
- Am I in a place in my life where I can be a good parent?
- Would I consider other options?
- Can I handle pregnancy and childbirth?
- Am I prepared to cope with the feelings of loss I may have? Remember, post-placement counseling is available.
- How do I feel about open or closed adoption?
- Do I have a strong support system – people in my life who will support me through my pregnancy, birth, and adoption process?
“After thinking it through and determining the pros and cons of all options, women should succeed at wrapping their minds around the subject and shape a decision that’s most convenient for them,” says Danish.
And if you are still unsure, counseling may be a good next step.
Why Adoption Counseling Matters
“Counseling is a necessary component of infant adoption, not just prior to placement but, in many cases, after placement as well,” explain Chuck Johnson and Kris Faasse.
- Pre-Placement: “Counseling is provided because birth mothers can feel overwhelmed with the choices and decisions associated with adoption,” says Dr. Kirschner. “Counseling may help a birth mother/birth father understand the various options associated with choices of parenting or creating an adoption plan.”
- Post-Placement: “Only support and the respectful acknowledgment of their choices and their emotions can help birth parents grieve in a healthy manner and, with time, allow for their healing and reconciliation of the adoption as a part of their life story,” says Johnson and Faass.”
If you are still struggling with the question “Is adoption the right choice?” or if you just need to talk, you can contact Adoption Makes Family by phone at 410-683-2100, by e-mail at dr.kirschner@adoptionmakesfamily.org or use our online contact form.
Sources
- helpwithadoption.com/adoption-help-giving-baby-adoption-family-member/.
- Brusie, Chaunie . “6 Ways To Cope With an Unplanned Pregnancy.” Every Day Family, www.everydayfamily.com/slideshow/6-ways-cope-unplanned-pregnancy/.
- Cohen, Meghan. “Adoption Help: Giving a Baby up for Adoption to a Family Member.” Help With Adoption, 20 Mar. 2018,
- Cooper, Lisa. “Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy.” Babble, Babble, 23 Sept. 2014, www.babble.com/pregnancy/coping-unplanned-pregnancy/.
- Danish, Elizabeth. “Tips for Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy.” HealthGuidance.org, www.healthguidance.org/entry/15029/1/Tips-for-Coping-With-an-Unplanned-Pregnancy.html
- Johnson, Chuck , and Kris Faasse. “Adoption Advocate.” Mar. 2012.
- Moore, Lane. What It’s Really Like to Place Your Baby for Adoption. Cosmopolitan, 16 Mar. 2018, www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a52816/adoption-what-its-really-like/.
- “The Unintended Pregnancy.” Fit Pregnancy and Baby, 3 Apr. 2017, www.fitpregnancy.com/pregnancy/sex-relationships/unintended-pregnancy.
- Yang, Sarah. “How To Deal With A Surprise Pregnancy.” How to Deal With a Surprise Pregnancy, The Bump, 19 Aug. 2014, www.thebump.com/a/how-to-deal-with-surprise-pregnancy.